Snowy Desert poll

Well, it’s happening again…… we’ve got a nice pile of the white stuff, just in time for Drunken Fool’s Day, always a great time here in the DWI capitol of the world. It made me think of another poll, since it has been quite awhile since I thought of one……….

 So here ’tis –

Suppose it were IMPOSSIBLE to live in a climate that suited you to a T. Don’t ask why, it just ain’t gonna happen. Would you rather live in a climate that is too warm for your tastes, or one that is too cold for your tastes?

Thursday update

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Former President Gerald Ford is still dead. Doctors say they have no idea how long this condition can be expected to persist.

The day’s news.

Former President Gerald Ford dies. (I really love the fact that the story is in English while the caption is in Spanish. Multiculturalism at work!)

“He came along when the country needed him the most,” said President Bush, who came along when the country needed him the least.

First James Brown, then this. It’s a publicity stunt. People are obviously dying in an attempt to get on one of those “year in review” shows. I give Ernest Borgnine two days.

Britney Spears voted “World’s Worst Dog Owner”.

Her activities as a pussy owner have also been called into question.

Polar Bears to be put on “threatened” list.

The White House announced that polar bears are threatened due to the global warming that the same administration has spent the past six years denying the existence of. At that rate, Bush MIGHT realize that Iraq is a clusterfuck by 2009.

More as the news happens, folks!

Merry CHristmas to All

holidaybooks1bieimage4.jpgchristmastroll.jpg               …and to all a good night!

Dear Rosie O’Donnell,

The first thing I saw when I turned on the news this morning was you. It scares the fuck out of me when that happens. If I’ve have a few cups, I can mentally protect myself, but this morning the water was still heating up when your image hit my retina, jarring me out of what had been a pleasant awakening with the kitties on my pillow. It’s only been a week since the “ching chung chong” nonsense, so I was a little surprised that you needed to put yourself in the news again already. Even Britny waits a few weeks between idiotic shenanigans.

I had been in your camp on the “ching chong chung” thing, because I thought it was silly. After all, your job title is “comedian”, despite the fact that I’ve never heard you say a single funny thing in your entire career. I figure even a pathetic, ineffective, sad excuse for a comedian such as yourself can be excused for such gaffes. The rights of a fool to be excused for being a fool goes back to the days when the comedians were, in fact, called “fools” by the royalty they served. But this week, you went beyond “fool” and careened straight into “hypocritical bitch-skag.”

First of all, what does Miss USA have to do with you, besides the tingly feeling you get in your tongue when you look at her? Nothing. Yet, you decided to project yourself into it anyway. And in trying to mock Donald Trump’s morality, you exposed your own shortcomings quite well. You said that the Don has no place being the “moral compass for 20 year old women”, and that much is true, but how did he give anyone who was watching the idea that he was? After all, he wasn’t the one calling her out for her behavior. That was the tabloids. He behaved as anyone running a business should – there’s a flap in the press about one of his employees, and he addressed it from a damage control perspective. What’s morally wrong about that?

Furthermore, you were on TV passing judgement on a woman that you’ve never met or spoken to. You stated that she should be fired for what you have HEARD she did. This is the moral pedestal you speak from? Castigating a total stranger over events you yourself did not witness? Did you ever have a drink, Rosie? If so, did you abstain until you were of legal age? I’d say just about every 20 year old in America that does NOT live in an Amish community has had a drink or two. Or 200. Compared to you, Mrs. Kravitz on Bewitched was fair-minded. At least she saw the things she talked about first hand. To put it simply, passing public judgement on someone you’ve never met on the basis of hearsay is not the most moral way to behave.

Your comments about Trump’s morality had to go well into the past to find a point, didn’t they? You cited his divorces and his philandering, neither of which have anything to do with the issue at hand. What did he do in the press conference that set you off? He FORGAVE someone. He gave someone who made some mistakes a second chance. Why does forgiveness and the will to help another person seem so immoral to you, especially at Christmas? In my eyes, Trump moved up a few rungs on the humanity ladder. I mean, what’s the guy’s catch phrase? “You’re fired.” I was pleased to see that he isn’t a one-trick pony. I was pleased to see her get a second chance. I mean, it’s not like her job is important. She wasn’t head of FEMA or anything. People didn’t die as a result of her being a ALLEGED drunken fuck-toy. Everyone who screws up without causing actual harm to others deserves a second chance. You got one, remember?

It happened a few years ago, when you came out of your closet (obviously a walk-in). You’d been pretending, quite publicly, to be something you’re not for years. What was all that panting and drooling and mooning over Tom Cruise about? You went on and on about being in lust with him for years, only to reveal that Nicole was more your type. Phoniness isn’t exactly high on the list of good moral traits, you know. That’s one thing Don has over you- he is what he is, and we know what he is. He’s a horn-dog, and has the money to indulge himself. Can you say for certain that either of his previous wives truly loved him more than they loved his money? I thought not. Perhaps you should shut the fuck up about marriages you aren’t involved in. In fact, you should just shut the fuck up, period.

By the way, Don’s getting the laughs, at your expense. Seeing him rip on your looks on CNN made me laugh out loud, because he’s got you pegged. You ARE a slob. You always look like you just came in from a day of gardening. And he was right when he called you a fatass, too. I suspect that he’s thinking the same thing I am – that you’re jealous of this gorgeous young girl, and would enjoy seeing her taken down a peg or two. Now THAT’S morality.

Anyway, the lawsuit ought to be fun. You made it out that he can’t sue you because he’s broke. Ha. I’d like to be one fifth as broke as that guy. Perhaps he’ll be the one to finally shut your big fat mouth.

BTW, if you’re reading this, Rosie, scroll down two entries. There’s someone there I bet you’d like to meet.

The second coming?

Makes you wonder…………………….

Dear Mary Cheney,

On the way home yesterday, I heard on the radio about how you called John Edwards a “slimeball” because he had, evidently, referred to you as a “lesbian.” (I have no idea why this is still being discussed, as it happened two years ago, but oh well.) It reminded me of when you called John Kerry a “son of a bitch”, returning what had been a compliment with sheer vitriol.

I have to confess that I don’t understand your attitude. I don’t think you were being maligned. I think that people refer to you as a lesbian for a legitimate reason.

You see, you are a lesbian.

What is it that defines you as such?

  1. Having Chastity Bono on your speed dial.
  2. Being a woman that eats pussy. That’s the biggie right there.

Now, I’m not judging. I have no negative feelings toward gays, as many of my friends will attest. It is simply a matter of definition. You have long been on public record as being one who enjoys a good box lunch.

I can, however, understand that you’re uncomfortable with attention. Your father is, after all, a High Priest of Satan the Vice President. He’s quite high in an organization that would deny you and your “ilk” as many rights as possible. You’ve made both him and his protege ‘boss do a Mexican Hat Dance around the principles they’ve pretended to stand for all these years, while you’ve tried to stay out of their way so you won’t be noticed as they treat your people like third class citizens. And now that we’re awaiting the blessed event, you’ve become the Republican Party’s very own Melissa Etheridge. I doubt that many liberals will fault you, Godless as they tend to be, but many of Daddy’s friends no doubt consider you worse than Murphy Brown.

I also understand that you come from an environment where people cold-bloodedly vilify any and all rivals. I know, I know, it’s a ubiquitous thing, but your Dad is part of a group that has elevated slander to an art form. They even do it to people in their own party.  Remember that bit about John McCain being mentally unstable because unlike your Dad and his boss, he actually went to Vietnam? Good stuff. You must have been so proud of Daddy’s team. Having folks of this sort for kith and kin, it’s certainly understandable that you’d take any reference to yourself as a rug-muncher to be a political attack.Frankly, if it were, it would be fair play, because unlike much of what Daddy says about others, this titbit is true. If you feel that Democrats are vilifying you, thank Daddy for helping to create that kind of game.

So, you’ve got quite a pickle, eh?As I see it, you have two options:

  1. Start taking some dick.
  2. Deal with it.

I suggest the latter. I’ve seen your photograph.