American Asshole: January 2007

Welcome to the first Under the Bridge Asshole of the Month contest! Each month, you will be asked to vote for one of several assholes, that one individual who you think exemplifies assholiness the best. Next January, the lucky 12 will be posted for the 2nd annual Under the Bridge Asshole of the Year competition!

I will pick the contestants every month. If you have a suggestion, feel free to send it to me via e-mail at I will entertain suggestions, but not feel beholden to them. I am certain that many of you will know about assholes that I am unaware of, so feel free to send suggestions, along with a link to the reason for your suggestion.

For every contestant, I will provide a link to the info that made them, in my mind, qualify for consideration. That way you don’t have to take my word for it, you can see the reason for yourself and judge it by it’s assholy merits. Any monthly winner will be ineligible to be AOTM for the remainer of the year, although they can still rack up reasons to be Asshole of the Year. One (1) vote per person. Voting will be open for one week each month.

And now, let’s look at January’s assholes, shall we?

Contestant #1 – Mike Nifong   Justice isn’t served by underhanded means.

Contestant #2 – Rosie O’Donnell Thank you, Eden, for providing the links!

Contestant #3 – Ted Nugent  Such an asshole he even offends Republicans.

Contestant #4 – Steve Doocy Get your facts straight, dickhead.

Contestant #5- Alberto Gonzalez – Isn’t understanding the Constitution key to your job?

Contestant #6 – Dick Cheney – Know thyself.

Man, assholes are easy to find.



  1. Oh, wow–hard to choose! First, I’ll eliminate Rosie, as she’s just a heckler of no consequence. Same with Ted, though he’s freakier. Mike and Steve? Hmm. Pretty assholey, both of ’em, but certainly not at the gaping-rectum level of Alberto and Dick. Damn. All right. I’m going with Dick.

  2. oh, rosie o’donnell hands down!!

  3. Rosie has my vote

  4. I’m with Paula on the toss-up ‘tween Prick and VO5. But let’s get a jump on who is likely to be AOTY and go with Cheney.

  5. I only know Cheney out of that lot, so i am going to have to plump for the man who you should never accept an invite to go hunting with.

  6. It’s not necessary to rely on prior knowledge to vote. I have links to the reasons that these people are up there, for your perusal.

  7. Ted Nugent! What a retard – and well past his use-by date.

  8. It’s a tie for me between Rosie and Ted. I used to like Rosie, but she’s become pathetic. (Not the I love Trump, either, or anyone she spouts off about.) And Ted. Yikes. I guess when you’re too old to rock and roll, you just become an asshole.

  9. cheney gets my vote as asshole of the month. (every month, for the last few years…)

  10. New here. I’ve got to go with Cheney. Shot his friend in the fucking FACE and had the friend take the blame. That takes both balls and a rectum the size of Texas. (But please don’t blame Texas…we’re not all like that.)

  11. Ooh I have to go with Ted. He’s more of an asshole whereas Rosie is kind of a douchebag.

  12. Definitely gotta go with Gonzalez. The others are idiots, but the AG is the harbinger of really bad things to come if this dike holding back the bullshit blows.

    In a splitting hairs sense, the guy is right, in that the Constitution doesn’t expressly grant the right. It assumes that these rights are inherent and granted by the Creator and that no government should have the power to take it away. In an increasingly humanist society, perhaps that isn’t the best wording… well, I could go on, but regardless of what one believes, it’s clear that the Constitution assumes inherent rights to human beings, and prohibits our government from taking that right away.

  13. Cheney! Cruel and unhuman.

  14. Cheney will never make AOTY because he’ll be dead before then. The vote of the international jury goes to Alberto Gonzo.

  15. I’ll have plenty of other opportunities to vote for Cheney, so I throw this one to Gonzalez.

  16. Rosie.

    Enough Said…

  17. Pfft. No contest. Cheney by a mile with Gonzalez nipping closely at his heels.

  18. I vote for Alberto myself. Don’t fuck with my Constitution.

    I understand that some folks have had trouble with the comments. Sorry about that. All votes are welcome. If you can’t comment for some reason, e-mail me your vote at, I’ll count it.

  19. Mike Nifong, just to be contrary.

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