Are you ready?

I saw this article yesterday, and it’s just bugging the hell out of me. The more I think about it, the more it bugs me. I have the same question running through my head.

Just what does being “ready for a black President” mean?

I assume, since no one is asking, that we are ready for an articulate President. Barack Obama is certainly that. I know, there was that kerfufflette over his use of the word “wasted” in regards to the deaths of soldiers, but I don’t think that was inarticulate. I think it was spot-on. The people who demanded his apology were largely those who put feelings over facts.

No one is asking if we’re ready for a “clean” President, either. That’s just assumed, although it wouldn’t matter with our current President since no one who would even think of criticising him can get within sniffing distance.

For that matter, no one is asking if we’re ready for a President who’s a woman, a midget, or a world-famous yodeling hobo. Unfortunately, no one is asking if we’re ready for an honest President, either.

But back to the question at hand. Americans, especially in politics, trip all over each other to show that they aren’t racists and won’t tolerate it in others. They publicly jeer at the likes of Mel Gibson and Michael Richards. Yet, this question about our readiness to elect an intelligent, articulate, and most importantly, CLEAN man is considered a sensible one because he’s black.

And it comes from CNN. You know, the liberal media.

Well, I think I know what it means. It means that all the tsk tsking about racism is so much fluffly window dressing. It means that for mainstream America, which is comprised of all races, skin color still matters. It’s that simple.

The very existence of such a question not only reveals, but legitimizes the racism that America likes to pretend it has left behind. I honestly do not see a difference between the actual question “Is America ready for a black President?” and the hypothetical question “Why should we elect a darkie *?” The former question is merely more polite.

The rest of the article isn’t much better. We are to believe that it isn’t a question for white people, but for the black community. They are supposedly unsold on Barack Obama for two reasons. First, white people like him, so they are wary and untrusting.

That really sounds like crap. White people are squarely in his camp? Is that why there have been numerous attempts to malign his name by putting it right next to Osama bin Laden’s? Of course, no one comes out and says “They’re in cahoots!” They just put the two names close together and let people make their subconscious connections. What about the crap about how he was educated? As O’Tim recently pointed out, it worked, even though it was retracted the next day. These things didn’t come from the Rainbow Coalition. Besides, if black people don’t like a black man because white people like him, that is still racist. It also fails to explain why black people didn’t flock to Al Sharpton, whose support among white voters was scant at best.

The other reason is that, as the son of an interracial and intercontinental couple who was educated abroad and in Hawaii, he isn’t in touch with black America. He isn’t “black enough.”

Okay. Let’s digest this. America isn’t ready for a black President because the candidate isn’t black enough. That’s like saying that a diabetic can’t have a doughnut because it isn’t doused with molasses.

And exactly who IS in touch with the “black American experience?” Hillary? Come on. Bush? He’s in touch with the “black American millionaire experience.” Jackson, Sharpton, and Mosely-Braun may be, but they’ve had their shot. Were they also “not black enough”, or were they “too black?” How black is “just right?”

I’m hoping, against hope most likely, that people will see though this. I hope that white voters won’t look at this and think ” I won’t vote for him becuase his own people aren’t going to.” I hope that black voters won’t look at this and think” My people don’t support him? Then why should I?”

I hope, against hope most likely, that the election won’t be about personality. George Bush was elected in 2000 largely because he was the candidate that people would prefer to have over for Memorial Day barbecue. Look where that method of “thinking” got us.

I hope against hope that America’s issues – security, the war, health care, education, crime – can make a showing in this next election. Any articulate, intelligent, and of course, clean individual can address those things, regardless of his – or her– skin  color.

(* I purposely used an antiquated slur so that I could make my point without anyone mistaking me for part of the problem. Any negative term for extremely tan, highly rhythmic people will work here.)

Dadgum confounded doodads!

As a lifelong science fiction fan, I’ve always been pro-technology. Anything that makes life easier, safer, or enables us to do things we weren’t able to do before is usually okay with me.

Usually.

There’s one new gadget that I really don’t like and don’t want, because it annoys me without even having one. I mean this damn thing.

bluetooth_garnitura.jpg

No, not the blonde. Her gadgets I could put to good use with a smile. It’s those damn bluetooth things I hate.

I know they’re good for driving- that doesn’t bug me. What bugs me is coming in to work and walking past the cubicles toward my office. One of the reps will say “Good morning! How are you?” and I’ll stop and say “Fine. Yourself?” just to have the rep give me an annoyed look and wave me away. Then they point to the ear I couldn’t see as I walked up. Then I have to apologize for “interrupting”, even though the damn fool was looking right at me while he spoke. Dork.

The other day, I heard what seemed like the strangest conversation ever. Two people, sitting close to each other, taking turns talking, and making no sense whatsoever. It seemed like a new “Whose Line is it Anyway” game where every line has to be a complete non-sequitor. Of course, these people were in their own conversations, via Bluetooth. The infuriating thing is that they weren’t doing anything else with their hands, they were just sitting there. They could have been using regular phones.

And, of course, there’s the people who are speaking to you, but you don’t know it because they’re still wearing the damn thing. Then they get upset because you’re ignoring them. As you should. Dolts.

If you’re not driving, and you’re not using the damn thing, why have it on? Sure, it’s a worn, trite joke, but wearing it all the time does make you look sort of like this. It wouldn’t be so bad if you managed to look like this, but how many people can pull that off?

I can think of one good use for these things, though. I’d like to get a few million of them, hollow, with no service, and give them to the homeless. That way, when they walk around talking to themselves about alien mind control, they’ll at least look like they’re having a legitimate conversation.

Oscar predictions!

I predict the Oscars will be boring, trendy, superficial, and have more to do with what’s popular than what might have some actual artistry to it.

 Same predictions I make every year.

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Generic kerfuffle

You’re all fucking wrong, and you should be ashamed of yourselves. So there.

Ain’t it the truth?

Heard on a Dr’s office phone menu:

“For physician to physician calls, dial 1. For English, dial 2.”

Why do people care?

Of course, you’ve seen this. We’ve ALL seen this. There’s really no avoiding this.

It must be important, right?

I mean, there’s other stuff going on, like this war thing for example. Yet, despite having been a no-show musically for years, the media (and, evidently, everyone who watches it) follow her around like a lost kitten that smells tuna. And they report on every little twitch, belch and fart.

Why is it so fascinating? It isn’t as if her shenanigans are really all that interesting, outside of the fact that she’s the one doing them. People have been shaving their heads for ages. It’s been a fashion of sorts for almost ten years now. Sure, men do it a lot more, but women do it too.

To be honest, I really didn’t understand all the hoopla about her in the first place. Being an avid music fan, I have to say that the Top 40 doesn’t interest me one whit, and hasn’t since the moment I saw that Farrah poster and  plummetted headlong into puberty. But I can’t see that her music has anything to do with it anyway. After all, I’m a bigtime Jeff Beck fan, and I couldn’t care less what he does in his personal life. I care about two things; when the next cd comes out, and when I can see him perform again. When he passes on (hopefully not for another 30 years or so) I’ll care. That is IT.

I’ve been told about two reasons why people are so interested in stuff like this. They both sound like crap to me, but here they are.

First, there’s the I-don’t-really-care-but-I-like-to-know-because-it-makes-me-feel-better-about-my-own-life reason. I’ve heard the same excuse for watching Springer or the Anna Nichole Smith reality show.

Frankly, if I said that,  would feel like the most pathetic, sad excuse for a hominid ever. If your life is so bad that you need to suck up the misfortunes of others to make yourself feel better about being you, then I humbly submit that it may be time to get off your ass and do something about it. Watching Britney’s every move cannot possibly improve your life. It can’t even make it better than hers, since she has had success and riches in her life already. She could do a nosedive at age 25 and still have more to look back on than most people will given 70 years. Not having undressed in a nightclub or having shaved your own head does not make you superior when all you do is watch and talk about someone who HAS. If you want your life to be better, you have work to do . That’s why I took up the mantle of education once more. I felt bad about myself, having been too lazy and undisciplined to have done it in my younger years. It may never help me career-wise, but the effort and attainment makes me feel much better about myself. Self-esteem is a do-it-yourself project.

Another aspect of this excuse is the “Well, she was popular for so long as a ‘good girl’, with her vow of chastity and all, so she’s a fallen angel now” line of “thought”. She’s not a “fallen angel”, you’re a “dupe.” The first I ever heard of her was a newspaper article about her getting breast implants at age 17. I’m sorry, but outside of a horrible, scarring accident, there is no reason for 17 year old nubbins to need help. Not unless, of course, they belong to someone who wants to be the next sex symbol. And yes, she took a vow of chastity, and then learned something that a lot of us learn. She learned that sex is more fun than chastity. Oh, heaven forbid.

The other “reason” is this: “We fans support her by buying her discs and her concert tickets, so we have a right to know everything about her.”

Frankly, I think it should be legal to bitch-slap anyone who lets that come out of his/her (usually her) mouth. Bitch-slap right into next Sunday.

So you bought one or two cds. Big whoop. You spent $30 and got some music to listen to. Then you bought a “concert” ticket. (I put the word concert in quotes because I don’t consider lip-synching to a tape to be a concert. I’d call it a dance recital.) What you paid for is admittance to a performance. It says so on the ticket. Nowhere does it say you have a front row seat to the performer’s life, despite the fairly obvious fact that you lack one yourself.

Imagine sitting at work and having a client approach you and ask who you slept with over the weekend. Perhaps this client might inquire about whether or not you spank your children. Maybe ask if you drink, smoke pot, or use battery operated toys when you masturbate. None of his business, right?

But why? After all, he pays the company that pays your wages. He “supports” you. Doesn’t he have the right to know everything about you?

“But, Mr. Troll….. I’m not a public figure. Britney is. She’s the one who wanted to be in the limelight. Don’t you think she asked for it? If she doesn’t like it, she could quit, you know.”

Didn’t you ask for it when you took that job at XYZ inc? After all, you went and applied for the job. If you don’t like it, you can quit, too. Music and movie people do jobs, and part of that job is public appearances and dealing with fans. No one signs up to have their garbage sifted through and made public, or to be hounded through every shopping trip and dinner out. Everyone deserves some privacy. If someone were following YOUR every movement with a camera, I daresay you’d call the police the first day. Your ticket stub and two cds does not give you ownership to Britney’s, or anyone’s,  whole life.

I, for one, would like to see the movie and music stars go on strike. Not for more money, that would be even dumber than the baseball strike. I’d like to see them strike for a little respect and privacy. I know it won’t happen, but it would be a sight to have all the big stars refuse to put out music and movies, and just go enjoy the millions they’ve already made.

Then we’d see who really needs who.

UPDATE: A New Mexico author has something to add.

We’ll always have paris…… to kick around.

Well, it looks like Paris Hilton has done it again.

What, you ask? Another DUI? More homemade porn? Mistreating the doglike thing du jour? More racist stuff said in private? Still rolling her own joints instead of hiring migrant labor to do it?

No. This time she’s committed the ultimate debutante faux pas.

 She looked bored at a formal ball. The whore.

How dare she? She gets to go to formal balls all the time. Her priviledged life has granted her the ability to go to countless formal balls, many of which have been in formal ballrooms. How dare she not be giddily excited? Doesn’t she realize that there are millions of mundane, boring people trying to live lives of privelidge vicariously through her? Does she not care about the masses of non- to moderately attractive young women who, largely because of wicked stepmothers, never get to go to a formal ball, and were watching her fiddle with her program on TV? Doesn’t she realize that these hangers on are the REASON she’s in the news, fucking and yawning the way only an heiress can? Just who does she think she is, someone who can be bored when she’s at a function of some type?

 I think she owes all the boring, lackluster people of the world an apology.