Dadgum confounded doodads!

As a lifelong science fiction fan, I’ve always been pro-technology. Anything that makes life easier, safer, or enables us to do things we weren’t able to do before is usually okay with me.


There’s one new gadget that I really don’t like and don’t want, because it annoys me without even having one. I mean this damn thing.


No, not the blonde. Her gadgets I could put to good use with a smile. It’s those damn bluetooth things I hate.

I know they’re good for driving- that doesn’t bug me. What bugs me is coming in to work and walking past the cubicles toward my office. One of the reps will say “Good morning! How are you?” and I’ll stop and say “Fine. Yourself?” just to have the rep give me an annoyed look and wave me away. Then they point to the ear I couldn’t see as I walked up. Then I have to apologize for “interrupting”, even though the damn fool was looking right at me while he spoke. Dork.

The other day, I heard what seemed like the strangest conversation ever. Two people, sitting close to each other, taking turns talking, and making no sense whatsoever. It seemed like a new “Whose Line is it Anyway” game where every line has to be a complete non-sequitor. Of course, these people were in their own conversations, via Bluetooth. The infuriating thing is that they weren’t doing anything else with their hands, they were just sitting there. They could have been using regular phones.

And, of course, there’s the people who are speaking to you, but you don’t know it because they’re still wearing the damn thing. Then they get upset because you’re ignoring them. As you should. Dolts.

If you’re not driving, and you’re not using the damn thing, why have it on? Sure, it’s a worn, trite joke, but wearing it all the time does make you look sort of like this. It wouldn’t be so bad if you managed to look like this, but how many people can pull that off?

I can think of one good use for these things, though. I’d like to get a few million of them, hollow, with no service, and give them to the homeless. That way, when they walk around talking to themselves about alien mind control, they’ll at least look like they’re having a legitimate conversation.



  1. Everyone looks like a moron wearing them. No exceptions. If George Clooney strolled by wearing one, he’d look like a moron too.

  2. They are great for the car but I agree… if your not driving – take off the darn thing. (PS: I have one lol)

  3. Heh, I have one of those, and I’d never take it off if my fucking ears weren’t shaped so stupidish. They start to hurt after 20 minutes…

  4. I hit on this on one of my Thursday 13s. Read #8.

  5. What’s up with your comments, dammit?!?

  6. Okay, I tried to post a comment 4 times, and it didn’t take, but of course it posts my “What’s up with your comments” comment.

  7. And that one too?!?

  8. It’s not letting me put a url in your damn comments! Argh!

  9. Jeff’s been hitting the Thermaflu too hard. 😉

  10. Koz- I had a similar problem at Dawn’s the other day.

    Paula- I think you may be right!

  11. Man I hate those bastards. We have a guy that walks around the office and it looks like he is talking to God. What a pompus asshole. I so much want to walk up to him and just drive that thing into the center of his brain.

  12. I, too, hate those things and will never, ever use one. When I see people using them in the store, I like to pretend they’re blithering idiots who are talking to themselves. What I really hate is when the asshats keep talking while I attempt to conduct business with them. How freaking rude!

  13. I’m with you. I freakin’ HATE the things. I agree that they’re safer for driving than cell phones, although I wonder why people really need to be on the damned cell phone every damned hour of every damned day, including when they’re driving in their damned cars. Dammit. But when they’re not driving, they look like idiots who are strolling along and chatting at the air. A while back I blogged about a dumb broad who was holding up an entire aisle of people because she was involved in an IMPORTANT PHONE MEETING as she was putting her stupid bag in the overhead compartment of an airplane. Next time it happens I’m smashing someone’s Bluetooth and ear all in one punch.

  14. i HATE HATE HATE ’em. is it any surprise that usually the only people who use them are uptight, self-righteous bastards to begin with? I think not.

  15. “”i HATE HATE HATE ‘em. is it any surprise that usually the only people who use them are uptight, self-righteous bastards to begin with? I think not.””

    HEY!! That’s not nice… ;-( LOL

  16. Those aren’t people … they’re proto-borgs.

    Ook ook

  17. I agree with all you said. I think most people only use them because it makes them (supposedly) look hip and cool and ooh look what I’ve got fool.

  18. Couldn’t agree more, Joe. Funnily enough, a tosser wearing one of those things started talking right at me this morning in the office. I even said “What was that, mate?” before he carried on talking to someone else (maybe his imaginary friend, who knows….).

  19. I use mine while driving and that’s ALL – it’s never even seen the outside of the car. Well, unless I’m talking and the day’s all sunshiny and the top’s down ’cause I like the breeze in my hair whilst I yak…

    I love your idea of giving them to the homeless. But then you’d have to also provide them with a phone to clip to their chi-chi leather belt…oh, and the leather belt…and maybe the pants…

  20. They’ll be sorry when the Cybermen arrive to give them their upgrades!

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