American Asshole: February 2007

Well, you all know the drill now. Here are this month’s nominees with links to the assholery that got them here. For a short month, it was long on assholes, to be certain. Take a moment to read the links, the ones you haven’t heard of are some grade-A assholes. Pick one!

#1 – Rush Limbaugh – Not only does he call global warming a “religion” (as opposed to “science” like creationism) but he makes you join his damn club to read about it!

Β Β  This just in – Rush explains why blacks should love government.

#2 – Joe Biden – Yeah, we need ANOTHER president that has his foot in his mouth.

#3 – Rev. Ted Haggard – You are what you eat, and you’re an asshole.

#4 – William Lorenzo Page – You needn’t be famous to qualify.

#5 – Douglas Feith – Like it wasn’t already hard enough to trust the government.

#6 – Mark R. Levin – You think WHO deserves a Nobel Peace Prize?

#7 – Tim Hardaway – I guess this puts that Snickers thing in perspective, eh?

#8 – Bill Hohman – Minding your own business is a virtue.

#9 – The guy in the Bentley that cut Paula off – Watch where you’re going!

#10 – Bill Richardson – Why should anyone apologise for someone else’s words?

#11 – Craig Baker – It’s not a zoning issue, you’re just a hick racist shitkicker.

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49 Comments

  1. To me, Limbaugh is the Crown Prince of Assholes, so it’s not really fair to the other nominees having him in the competition. We should just have it as read that Limbaugh is an asshole all the time, every month, and then let the lesser mortal assholes compete.

    With that, I’m voting for Hardaway.

  2. This IS a TOUGH month. I’m not certain who gets my vote yet, and I’ve had all month to think about it.

  3. Oh god, I can’t choose! What a great big bunch of assholes these are. I’m tempted to pick Levin though. Really tempted. Yes, I AM HOLDING HIM TO A HIGHER STANDARD!!! Anyone have a problem with that?

    Levin it is.

    Unless that article was satire. Then I’ll go with Hardaway.

    Page is in a different category all his own. Not sure what to call it, but it’s beyond asshole.

  4. It’s not satire, Paula, as much as I wish it were.

  5. I don’t see how any of the others could trump Rush. Except that he lives for stuff like this and I wouldn’t want him to have the satisfaction.

    No asshole women this month? πŸ˜‰

  6. It’s all in the news, Eden. I just call ’em as I see ’em. I don’t see it all, though, so I’ll repeat what I said last month…. if anyone sees nomination-worthy assholiness in the news or elsewhere, you are welcome to point it out to me and suggest a nomination for that person. I’ll always listen to suggestions.

  7. And what a FINE procession of assholes you’ve presented us with! Kudos, but oh, the dilemma. Rush is an asshole 24/7/365, Levin is deeply misguided, Biden has hoof-in-mouth disease, Haggard’s gonna be back out soon (and I’ll win my Bet On Ted!), Hardaway’s entitled to his moronic opinions (and we’re entitled to crucify him when he expresses them), Page already has a special place in Hell reserved for him, Hohman’s an antique, and tragically there are Richardsons everywhere you turn nowadays. Can’t speak on the Bentley dude.

    Tie, then, between Baker and Feith. I gotta go with Feith, Baker being more of a localized asshole (and unfortunately local to me). Feith was part of the war machine that has ground up and spit out thousands of lives. I’d say he has the most blood on his hands.

  8. SS- great minds think alike! Those are the two I’m torn between, also. I won’t voice my vote until everyone else has voted, though. Don’t want to be accused of leading the witnesses!

  9. I’m going with Lamebaugh, since he’s one of the Assholes of All Time!

  10. I’d love to refer to him as “Your Assholiness.”

  11. Correct on all. Well, Paula getting cut off…that’s a little silly to think about that for more than 5 minutes.

  12. I choose Haggard. As a Christian, he is poison to the sincere folks of faith who just want to be decent people to their neighbors.

  13. Actually, Tim, you’re wrong. It was silly as hell the first 5 minutes, too! πŸ™‚

  14. The Rev. Haggard gets my monthly vote.

  15. I’m goin’ with Baker. I just can’t understand cracker bastards like that. Probably still pissed that “niggers” no longer have to sit at the back of the bus…

  16. The link for Levin wasn’t working, so I got no clue there. I agree w/w Paula said about Page – that’s way beyond asshole.

    I’m gonna hafta go with Baker also. I watched that intolerant cracker bullshit go down in an almost identical situation in a town near me. I read through the comments for the story and one woman was saying the Muslims were doing it to be provocative, while another proclaimed she just wouldn’t be able to sleep at night living by a mosque. I am amazed she gets any rest as it is.

  17. Wow, i don’t know any of them and some of the links were not working (or they were and my browser was having a mad five mins) so i will try again later.

  18. Reading what i could, my vote would go to Douglas Feith for even trying to defend the indefensible. Special mention to William Lorenzo Page who i hope meets a grisly end with a vat of wax and a strategically inserted carrot.

  19. Hmmm….. K-2 didn’t put a link with his/her insults. That’s a shame, because I’d like to ask him/her what it’s like to be too much of a pussy to back up your coments.

  20. Okay, pussy who still doesn’t put a link. What’s it like to be a pussy? And why don’t you copme out and say which nomination bothers you, pussy? I have both righties and lefties up there. Maybe you like that piece of shit that beat a little girl and left her to die? Or maybe you’re that gay male hooker that used to take in the ass from Haggard? Perhaps you’re a Texan shitkicker racist?

    Wait a minute! I’ve got it! You’re one of Rush Limabaugh’s brain-dead minions, aren’t you??

  21. No, but your mommy gives a pretty good rimjob with hers.

    BTW, both Biden and Richardson are liberals. What’s it like to be a STUPID pussy?

  22. Ask away, JERK!

    Ooh, he got you there, Joe! How will you ever recover? Jerk! LOL…

    Oh, love the links, K-2. You know, my son’s in room K-1. You must be right next door. I hope you get Mrs. March when you get to first grade. She’s a mean, old, raggedy bitch.

  23. I’m not qualified to help you in that field.

    No fucking shit on a popsicle stick. Feel free to apply that disclaimer to anything you wish to comment on.

  24. Well, spoken, Looney, my RIGHTIE friend! See, K-2, there are righties in the world who aren’t so ashamed of themselves that they can leave REAL links, and back up their opinions!

    But then again, no one I know has ever thought that Looney was a puss. That’s because, unlike you, this rightie acts like a MAN.

  25. K-2 is running away like a scared little wabbit. Poor thing.

  26. You’re running off at the mouth, and dirty words are more substantial than anything YOU have. I have two lefties up on that list, so there is no way you can accuse me of being biased in either direction, as you obviously are. Now, are you giving fake links because you’re afr5aid to have any of us see your site, or is it because you’re not smart enough to run one?

  27. Oh, look, another coward with a fake link. What soldiers they are! What are you afraid of, children?

  28. Okay, playtime is over. Unless one of you can muster up the courage to use a REAL link, or make a point that isn’t just childish namecalling, I’m not responding. This is a discussion site for ADULTS. I don’t have time for cowards.

  29. LOL, laws, yes. The boy is talkin’ to hisself sumpin’ fierce.

    Always said that ol’ boy wud a bit touched…

  30. Man, what the hell happened over here? Who has this kind of time?

  31. People without jobs, evidently. Probably on welfare.

  32. Hey!!! It’s “Be Nice To People Without Jobs” Day! Don’t lump us all together!

    I don’t wanna hafta sit next to that freaky windbag troll. He’s got cooties.

  33. Hey, piece of shit! Why did you remove all the comments? Asshole!

  34. Don’t worry, SS. He’s on the spam list now, and will be every time he shows up with a new name. I can handle disagreement, but immature pussyism doesn’t belong here.

    BTW, folks, those 50+ abusive messages came from someone at the Mark Levin site, #6 above. If you don’t like abusive children, go tell them! Maybe they don’t get enough of their own medicine. But then again, if they’re Mark Levin fans, they probably don’t have the ability to learn, anyway.

    I also have his e-mail address, if anyone wants it to put on any spam lists. Just e-mail me.

    Anyway, SS, that comment about jobs was just a jab in response to the one comment about being a leech. You’re not a leech.

  35. Now this thread reads like we’re all wackos without the context of the troller.

    And it appears the freak got another comment in. Funny thing is, he put “michaelmore” as his link, showing he gots good knowledge by misspelling Moore.

  36. Oh, I’d like to change my vote to Levin, btw.

  37. Joe, I know…I was just funnin’ wit ya!

    But look! He’s back and his comment is next to mine! COOTIES! I feel like those meth addicts, the ones who feel bugs on their skin and wash it ’til it bleeds.

  38. Well I WAS going to vote for Feith – I don’t think that fudging the “intelligence” is in line with “Truth, Justice, and the American way.” But after today, I have to go for Levin. He’s obviously preaching to children, retards, and others who have no respect for other people. If this is what it means to be Republican these days, that party will never get another vote from me. Yes, I said “another.”

  39. Please change my vote to Levin, also. I’d initially pegged him as merely misguided, but now that I’ve seen Jonestown, to so speak…

  40. Tsk. It’s not nice to have a flame war and then delete all the material I would flame. And then invite me here to look-see, only to find you guys having all the fun, but nothin’ left for me.

    <sniffle>

  41. Gekko’s right. And it’s not fair to the rest of us who would have giggled with joy as she tore K2 up and fucking down. I still have fond memories of Miss Anthrope… What did you call her, Gek? I believe it was “delicious cunt.” Makes my mouth water just saying it.

  42. Yeah, I’ll change my vote to Levin, too, just on principle πŸ™‚

  43. Yeah in light of this, I’d be willing to jump on the Levin crazytrain.

  44. why isn’t that coulter bitch on this list?

  45. Joe Biden

  46. Thanks everyone!

    Gekko- sorry, but the guy posted about 100 times and it was really getting ridiculous. Ignoring him just made him speed up. I had to get rid of him by making sure that his posts wouldn’t get the audience he craved.

    Dawn- She opened her mouth too late! Don’t worry, you’ll have a chance to vote for her on April 1st. Appropriate, no?

  47. I vote for Fred Hiatt. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/03/06/AR2007030602020.html

    By a nose from Lieberman. I think attending the Republican strategy luncheon is a step too far.

  48. I was tempted to go with Biden, but it’s got to be Limbaugh.

  49. Is there ever going to be a winner announced? The anticipation is killing me!


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