MORE crap I’m sick of hearing.

1 – Bush = Hitler

Oh come now, he does not. Hitler was way more evil. Now, I do believe that Bush is evil, and I also believe that when he talks to God, God throws up in his mouth just that little bit, but Bush is nowhere near being in Hitler’s league. Besides that, Hitler chose far more competent people to fill his cabinet, was able to give the entire world a run for its money while Bush has had his hands more than full with Iraq, and the biggest difference – HITLER HAD A PLAN. An entirely vile, evil, and downright naughty plan indeed, but a plan nonetheless.  We’ve got nothing.

2-  “It’s that liberal media.”

Stop whining already! If you aren’t hearing what you want to hear about the war, about the President, about what- ever, here’s a radical thought; Maybe what you want to hear isn’t happening!!! Stop pretending that they didn’t help you circle Bill Clinton like vultures for eight fucking years. Stop pretending that the media didn’t help you start this war.

It’s especially pathetic when I hear someone single out CNN, then turn on CNN to hear Glenn Beck ranting about “liberal hippie communists” or hear the panel of experts predicting doom if we leave Iraq. How is this pushing the “liberal agenda?”

3-  “And this is what happened last night on American Idol.”

You know, if  gave a fuck, I would have watched the goddam thing. I don’t, so I didn’t. If someone missed it and didn’t Tivo it, their loss. Why would you even think for one second that it’s news? Happy Days used to be immensely popular, too, but the AP didn’t recap it the next morning for the benefit of those who missed it. Why do so for this musical crapfest?

4- Hyperbole

If someone says “I think Israel did this one thing wrongly”, that is NOT the same as “Hitler was right!” “I think Bush is a lousy President” does not equal “Clinton was the best President in history!” And being critical of America’s policies is nowhere near “I want America to lose this war!” If you cannot argue against what is actually being said, you might consider the idea that there is no valid argument against what is actually said, or that you simply don’t know what that answer is. Changing someone’s argument to suit what you want to argue against only shows that you have limitations to both your intellect and your honesty. And it’s rude, too.

5- “THOSE (Republicans/Democrats and/or conservatives/liberals)!!!”

Has America been this divided since the Civil War? Possibly, I don’t know. I do know that vilification of those people has replaced actual thought in America. And the assumption that EVERYONE is like that just slays me. I’ll say certain things about Bush, or about our current administration, and some people think they’re going to get my goat by bashing Clinton. Well, I never voted for Clinton, and I’m not a democrat, so that “You Democrats yadayadayada” crap falls limply at my feet. Then again, there’s those who brand me a neocon immediately because I don’t jump on the gun ban bandwagon, or because I suggest that we might want to watch that southern border. Once again, people don’t have the facts it takes to build a cogent argument, so they simply attack anything they can assume about the speaker.

Look, we’re all Americans, we all pay taxes, and we all live in the same country with the same problems. Maybe – just maybe– some of those problems could be solved, or at least lessened, if we spent as much effort working together and talking to each other as we do vilifying and slandering each other. America is supposed to be about freedom of thought, not the freedom to conform.

6- “They do it, too!”

Okay, suppose you have a 6 year old who is caught stealing candy. Knowing that he’s caught, he looks at you and says “Johnny and April stole candy, too!” Are you going to tell this child it’s okay, then, as long as he wasn’t the only one?

I didn’t think so. So why do adults do it every day?

These Republicans in the administration have told a lot of lies.” “Well, Demcrats lie, too!”

So that makes it okay?

“Those liberals are just hounding Bush because they hate him and want him out of office.” “And that’s exactly what the Republicans did to Clinton!!”

And that is your argument? I think there are more compelling reasons for wanting Bush out than that, but I digress. The simple fact is that just because someone else did something wrong, that doesn’t make it right for someone else to do it, too. I mean, if we elect a Democrat to the White House, and he (or she) tells a pile of whoppers to get us into a war, are we going to say that it’s all good because Bush did it, too?

As a rule of thumb, if you won’t accept a given argument from a 6 year old, you will sound no more mature or intelligent than that same child when you use the same type of argument, and you should be treated as such. Your kids should also see you as a hypocrite, and smother you in your sleep. So there.

7- “Democrats don’t believe in Jesus.”

This usually comes from people who think that Jesus likes war and wants homosexuals executed. This usually comes from people who think that Jesus will reward you for stockpiling as much cash as you can, and doesn’t like those Mexican kids getting free healthcare at our expense. In other words, people who have created Jesus in their own selfish, intolerant and unsympathetic image.

Fuck those people. I don’t speak for Jesus (boy, it would be refreshing to hear one of those jerks say that!) but if anything in that book about him is true, he’ll flush these people down like yesterday’s Raisin Bran. When I went to church, Jesus was about loving and helping people, not about hating foreigners and keeping taxes low.

8- “You’re giving aid and comfort to the enemy!”

No, blankets and muffins are aid and comfort. Debate and dissention is as American as hot dogs and apple pie.

Have you come up with any new ones?

(BTW, folks, if you haven’t voted for the American Asshole: April, scroll down and do so. For every person who doesn’t vote, Bill O’Reilly get another year on his contract!)



  1. Funny you mention the “liberal media” – Sour Grapes has a new poastie about how the media was in bed with the Bushies to convince peeps the Iraq War was a Good Thing five years ago. Anyway, yeah. This stuff is way old, and way stupid. I’m also tired of hearing that anyone who supports military defense in any way is a “racist.” And I also do not GAF what any celebrity thinks of war, peace, or the price of cupcakes.

  2. You mean that if Michael Douglas starts a movement to lower the price of cupcakes, you’ll tell him to STFU?

  3. Yes. And that he’s too old for Catherine. He isn’t one of those GUN NUTS, is he??

  4. Have to say it again Joe spot… on with all your points! They will be calling me a fag liberal next.

  5. America has always been divided, I personally think that it’s healthy to have issues in the forefront of everyday life. Andrew Jackson opponents called his wife a prostitute and him a Flaming Jacobite, evidently those were strong words at the time. Keep debate alive.

  6. zI guess what matters is how you define “debate.” Calling someone’s wife a prostitute is not political debate in my book.

  7. Oh… I don’t know “the land of the free and the home of the brave.”
    Or, does that take it too far?

  8. Ok… we’re still free and brave. How about “Fair and Balanced.”

  9. I agree with many of your points but boy do I EVER agree with you about the liberal media bullshit. I’ve actually heard people bitch about the so-called liberal media and then quote from a Washington Post article because the point of view suited them! Asshat.

  10. Two comments:

    1) The fact that neither the left nor the right are very happy with “major media” such as the networks or most non-Murdoch owned cable outlets leads me to believe that they are pretty much in the center in terms of editorial content.

    2) If someone says “I think Israel did this one thing wrongly”, that is NOT the same as “Hitler was right!” You stinking anti-semite bastard. Do I need to put up a post whereby I make thinly veiled insults at you while assuming my position as innocent, defenseless martyr? Cause I will you know … and all my legions of readers will comment and virtually pat my back and say “there there.”

    Ook ook

  11. ’em- The first doesn’t bug me so much, but I agree that it is basically an example of how we like to pat ourselves on the back, I’ll grant you that! The second one is just a lie through and through, in the context we usually hear it in.

    PJ – exactly. It all a matter of blaming the messenger when you don’t hear what you want to.

    Fez- I prefer my insults thickly veiled, and liberally (!) smeared with buttercream frosting.

  12. buttercream frosting


  13. ” Happy Days used to be immensely popular, too, but the AP didn’t recap it the next morning for the benefit of those who missed it. Why do so for this musical crapfest?” But what about the geeks like me who discuss “Lost” the next day at the water cooler? It’s a sci-fi crapfest!

    But I’m with you on AI. I am so sick of hearing about it and that Sanjaya dude’s hair. (You know, along with Rosie O, he was one of Time’s 100 most influential people. WTF is with Time? Are they on crack?)

  14. I think there has always been and will always be shit slinging from opposing sides (thinking Jackson up to present day). Sad but true.

    And we tell our kids not to beat the shit out of each other in the playground – play fairly etc – then wonder why …..nevermind, my brain is outta energy. You get the gist.

  15. Shit, someone said buttercream frosting. My tum’s not ready for that yet (damnit).

  16. I agree with everything in your list. Especially the American Idol thing.

  17. Nat- That doesn’t bother me, because you aren’t a news agency. I see it AI on the morning news, then I see it on the web news, and I wonder why people didn’t just watch it if they cared so much. I can’t imagine why that road-runner lookin’ dude would be influential, either.

    TLG, I once did a post about the lies we tell kids, and this relates. What a nice world we would have if we held ourselves to the same standards we hold children to.

    Gek – 🙂

  18. I agree with all your points and the Bush & Hitler comparison is one i hear lots from ‘my side’.

  19. I think it’s funny that it’s called American Idol. Not only do I not idolize any of them, I don’t even LIKE most of them…LOL

  20. In a very random place (a documentary on Captain America, and his recent death) I learned that the US was every bit as split over WWII as it is on Iraq. I keep hearing stuff like “everybody was unified in WWII, they wanted to stop Hitler, he was evil!” This isn’t true in the least. I mean, it’s true that Hitler was evil, but some Americans didn’t think so. I guess I’m bitter. I feel that, essentially,war and stupidity are part of the human condition. The solution? I have no friggin’ clue. Love? Bombs? Pop music star voted on by the American public? Sigh.

Comments RSS TrackBack Identifier URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s