AIDS is not just God’s punishment for homosexuals; it is God’s punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals.

Christians, like slaves and soldiers, ask no questions.

God continues to lift the curtain and allow the enemies of America to give us probably what we deserve.

I am such a strong admirer and supporter of George W. Bush that if he suggested eliminating the income tax or doubling it, I would vote yes on first blush.

I believe that global warming is a myth. And so, therefore, I have no conscience problems at all and I’m going to buy a Suburban next time.

If you’re not a born-again Christian, you’re a failure as a human being.

My problem is not with the intentions of the Bush presidency. My problem is where it might go under his successors.

The idea that religion and politics don’t mix was invented by the Devil to keep Christians from running their own country.

The whole global warming thing is created to destroy America’s free enterprise system and our economic stability.

There’s been a concerted effort to steal Christmas.

 “I heard lots of good men out there who believed the Bible and who were giving Biblical support for segregation

The line I like best came from Jayne Bray of the Pro-Life Action Committee: I am personally opposed to the destruction of property, but I respect the rights of those who do it where babies are slaughtered.

I hope I will live to see the day when, as in the early days of our country, we won’t have any public schools. The churches will have taken them over again and Christians will be running them. What a happy day that will be!

AIDS is the wrath of a just God against homosexuals. To oppose it would be like an Israelite jumping in the Red Sea to save one of Pharaoh’s charioteers.

Most of these feminists are radical, frustrated lesbians, many of them, and man-haters, and failures in their relationships with men, and who have declared war on the male gender. The Biblical condemnation of feminism has to do with its radical philosophy and goals. That’s the bottom line.

Modern U.S. Supreme Courts have raped the Constitution and raped the Christian faith and raped the churches by misinterpreting what the founders had in mind in the First Amendment of the Constitution… [W]e must fight against those radical minorities who are trying to remove God from our textbooks, Christ from our nation. We must never allow our children to forget that this is a Christian nation. We must take back what is rightfully ours.

Adios, Jerry. Don’t let the gates of Hell hit your fat, intolerant, segregationist ass as you enter.



  1. There’s been a concerted effort to steal Christmas?

    Well, DUH! The Grinch did it like 30 years ago!

    Seriously, how long did it take you to look up all those quotes? Fine, fine work, my man! Some of them were running through my head as soon as it flashed across CNN that “God SMOTE HIM!” 🙂

  2. Good riddance.

  3. I am so torn. I mean, now that Jerry’s worm food, I find myself actually starting to believe in god. But if I believe in god …


    Good riddance, indeed.

    Ook ook

  4. DD- I started as soon as the prognosis went from “serious” to “dead”.

    Fez- don’t get yourself into any logical knots, now….. you could end up a scientologist!

  5. Don’t forget my favorite by my favorite conservative, Barry Goldwater:

    Responding to Falwell’s statement that all good Christians should be concerned about the Supreme Court nomination of Arizonan Sandra Day O’Connor, he said, ”I think every good Christian ought to kick Falwell right in the ass.”

  6. Amen, my brother!

    Oh! And also:

    Burn, Baby, Burn.

  7. It’s always easy to trample on someone’s grave…

  8. I was thinking the same thing Looney.

  9. It’s always easy to trample on someone’s grave…

    Yeah, how true. I mean, Joe wouldn’t dare say anything nasty about someone who’s still breathing – isn’t that right Joe?

    I mean, all of your contenders for American Asshole are dead, aren’t they? They do something ‘assholey’ at the start of the month – just so they can qualify for the competition – and then they all promptly die, allowing Joe to rip the piss out of them.

  10. I think Joe is Equal Opportunity Nasty, no pulse required. ‘S why I come here!

    Although the thought of some of the AA contenders dropping dead the second they’re nominated did give me a warm fuzzy all over.

  11. Here’s is another fitting tribute to the great man:


  12. It’s especially easy when all you do is use the person’s OWN WORDS. If I’m trampling him, he provided me with the means.

    And thank you, Cheezy and DD, for saying what I wasn’t around to say. I’ve plenty to say about these folks living or dead. Perhaps I should do Pat Robertson next?

  13. Hey, no problem! But Robertson’s too easy! You wouldn’t even have to break a sweat!

  14. It’s always easy to trample on someone’s grave

    Gulp. Did I really read that? You know, I’ve never understood how death suddenly cleanses a person of how big a dick they were in life. Dying does not equal absolution nor forgiveness. I still hate Reagan with a white-hot passion. I didn’t feel bad about his Alzheimer’s, nor any other ailment he had, and certainly not when that cretinous old swine finaly croaked. The same with Falwell. In life he was little more than a brutal Zombie with the blackest of hearts, who did nothing but spew hate and excrement. Tha fact that his bloated corpse will soon be rotting in the ground doesn’t change a single thing he did in his ugly life.

    If anything, Joe was pulling his punches here. Falwell’s body deserves the Mussolini treatment, and then to be dumped in some ravine as fodder for scavengers.

    Ook ook

  15. Fez- I remember when I gave you a “Thinkie”, and you said “I haven’t been this happy since Reagan died.” I cracked up when I read that, and I still chuckle when I think of it. You hated him more than I, but it was still a funny line.

  16. Remember our friend Voltaire, peeps:
    “One owes respect to the living. To the dead, one owes only the truth.”

    Joe only spoke the truth, quoting Falwell himself. Although I personally disagree with the Mussolini treatment idea (even while it’s intriguing), reminding everyone of the words the man shouted from his bully pulpit is fair game.

    Just my $.02.

  17. I don’t know how, but I just realised that I missed the BEST QUOTE OF ALL. Here it is:

    “Grown men should not be having sex with prostitutes unless they are married to them.”

    That’s gooooood moralizin’, yessir!

  18. What about male prostitutes? Ooh, SNAP!

    I’m sort of in the mushy middle on the trampling (what else is new?). I think using a person’s own quotes to illustrate his character is absolutely okay, as is stating your true feelings, yet the Mussolini treatment? Never. (Though I realize Fezzie was probably just kidding.)

  19. I’m sure he had his monkey tongue in his monkey cheek. Even if he didn’t, I wouldn’t call him on it. I already spanked the monkey once this week! 🙂

  20. There is no post regarding Falwell’s death that I would consider in the same dimension as this one, it’s so brilliant. As others have stated, Falwell wrote this post, not Joe. Joe was just a messenger. Thanks for the Word, Joe. Brought a smile to my face.

  21. good job, joe. http://www.bushflash.com has a very nice tribute to falwell, also.

  22. Adios, Jerry. Don’t let the gates of Hell hit your fat, intolerant, segregationist ass as you enter.

    Falwell didn’t write that part.

    There was much about the man that I didn’t like, and many of those quotes reminded me of just what it was that I didn’t like about him, but I thought that ending commentary was a bit beyond the pale.

    Maybe it’s just me. Or me and Looney.


  23. Well, if it weren’t for the fact that:
    a) Falwell was an obese man with a very large backside
    b) As his quotes show, he was perhaps among the least tolerant people in the country
    c) His politics and attitude did favor segregation

    I would think you might have some justification for your unease.

    Ook ook

  24. I think it’s valid to have the same opinion of someone in death that I had of him in life. I didn’t think much of him in life, you might have gathered.

    How about applying this same idea to someone who is even MORE unpopular. Now that Sadaam is dead, and we know that he didn’t necessarily HAVE to be our enemy, do we now have to say nice things about him only? When David Duke dies, will we forget his Klan affiliations, and just hear from the people who liked him? How about Benedict Arnold? It can be argued that he wasn’t a traitor to his country, as history calls him, for two reasons. 1- He was a British citizen, and 2- the country that calls him a traitor didn’t actually exist yet. Shall we FINALLY give the old boy a break? He’s deader than disco, after all.

    There is no one on earth, however much that person is hated and maligned, that doesn’t have SOMEONE who could say “He/she wasn’t that bad.” Even Hitler had supporters well after the war, and does to this day. Would it only be fair to mention the nice things when they die, as if that were all that really happened?

    I know that Falwell was no Hitler, and I have no intention of comparing them. I’m just making the point that I don’t owe him the deference I didn’t feel for him in life just because he finally had the decency to stop breathing. No one does.

    Falwell’s quotes above do show him to be intolerant of other religions and a racial segregationist. They show a willingness to ignore the Constitution and try to erase the barriers between church and state. They show that he felt that America would be best off when everyone in the country is forced to recognise his beliefs as law. He urged the destruction of all non-Christian forms of education in America. (You know, a Christian theocracy doesn’t appeal to me any more than an Islamic one does. All theocracies are evil.)He didn’t seem to think highly of free speech, either, hence his issue with Larry Flynt (another guy who probably doesn’t make the needle on the respect-o-meter jump very high.)

    If that is a person whom you feel deserves respect, then I guess we’ll have to agree to disagree, because I see nothing respectable in any of the above.

  25. I had planned on a “Ding Dong, the witch is dead” post, but you have NAILED it here! Hey, Falwell, I’ll see you in HELL, man!

  26. I don’t disagree that your opinion can remain the same after someone has died. A jerk is a jerk is a jerk. Fair enough. And I agree – no deference should be paid where it wasn’t earned. I guess having lost three people in the recent past has me thinking about the whole process of death and its far reaching affects [on others]. Like family and friends.

    I guess I coulda just said I’m with Paula and Dangerdoll on this. The Mussolini treatment is just barbaric and uncivilised. IMHO

  27. Call me crazy, but I was just thinking — decency and humanity. Anyway – no biggie.

  28. TLG- The Mussolini thing was an off-hand comment made by Fez, not I. True, I didn’t castigate him for it, but that’s because I know his sense of humor has it’s dark side, and I knew he was kidding.

    I’m sorry to hear about your recent losses. I’m afraid I’ll be able to empathise far too well in the near future.

  29. lmao! I love it….

    happy happy joy joy!

  30. I’m really sorry to hear that Joe.

    Sorry – I should have been clearer about the Musso thing — I knew it was Fez and not you that originally said it;).

  31. The Phelps clan hates him, so he must have done something right, some where, some when.

    It’s not so much that I think the man deserves respect. I was a founding member of PHBJF (People Hated by Jerry Falwell) once upon a time, after all. I guess what makes me uncomfortable is the blithe assumption that he’s going to Hell, and the rejoicing that followed. As I Christian, I believe Hell truly exists, and I can’t rejoice that anyone ends up there.

    But again, that’s more about me and not so much about him. If you get my drift.

  32. I get you, Jenna. I’m sorry if I offended you, that wasn’t the intention. I find it difficult to believe that Heaven waits for someone who uses God to bully rather than enlighten, and impossible to believe that it waits for racists, is where I’m coming from. In fact, if it WAS for people like him, I’m not sure I’d want to be there.

    Maybe I was premature in the comment about Hell. Perhaps 15,000 or so years in Purgatory wouuld suffice for him? 🙂

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